shopping day

pangit gising ko kaninang umaga. mainly because i didn't want to get up just yet. as usual mga alas-kuatro na ako natulog at mashado pang maaga ang 10am para gumising.

pumunta kami sa downtown, shempre pa sa walang kamatayang old navy. pagkatapos namin don, naisip ko na kung ano talaga ang gusto kong trabaho. personal shopper! e pano ba naman, halos lahat yata ng bilhin ng mga tita ko eh ako ang pinapapili. kung di naman, ako ang maghahanap. masarap din mamili, lalo na kung di ikaw ang magbabayad.

dapat punta kaming waterworld bukas nila dad. pero di na lang kami sama ni kuya kasi me sakit si mom (yung gums niya dahil sa pustiso, hehe), kaya ipagda-drive namin siya bukas. pero oks lang kasi sarado rin naman pala yung waterworld kaya ganun din.

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i've decided to come home with them on the 15th. in a fit of depression kanina, i was crying over not being able to see NY and Wicked. see, i've been really looking forward to it since last year. i've told people i was gonna see it. hell, i didn't feel disappointed na di ako tuloy sa euro tour kasi wicked naman kapalit. pero wala rin. my brother suggested that we just go to Vegas instead, ate love suggested we watch cirque de soleil or maybe even we will rock you. and i appreciate the gesture, i really do. but Vegas won't really make up for NY. however fantabulous it may be.

i'm not mad or inis or nagtatampo sa kuya ko, kahit na ang tagal tagal ko nang sinabi yun sa kanya. tagal tagal ko na ring sinabing bili na siya ng ticket or at least pareserve na. i totally understand their situation (my sister-in-law is 6 months on the way) at wala akong reklamo don. sana lang sinabi na sakin from the start na baka by the time i get here, di siya na okay mag-travel and all that. then maybe i could have fixed things by myself, i could have gotten tickets myself, i could've booked a flight myself. i could've found someone, anyone, who would go with me. sana he told me earlier para sana hindi na ako umasa. i could have at least tried to look for other stuff to look forward to.

hindi ako nagtatampo, hindi lalo ako galit. i guess what i'm saying is that although i understand, i can't help but feel disappointed. aside from my family, that is what i came here for. that's what i wanted out of this summer. my first broadway show. but i guess i would have to wait. sad lang cos by the time i get to go to new york, wala ng wicked.

so there, uwi na lang ako ng maaga. beach na lang. bili na lang siguro ako ng digicam. kahit ano. pagdasal niyo na sana kasya pa ako sa flight pauwi ng pinas sa 15.

san francisco, closer.

i watched mike nichols' closer for the second time around 2am this morning, and i'm twice smitten. i haven't seen any movie as real as this one. i can't really describe it, you have to go and watch it for you to appreciate it. it's not for everyone though. basta, it has the realest dialogues ever. i cringe and tear hearing them because they are awfully honest, awfully familiar.

i love movies like this, when you really get to know the character and no matter how wicked or immoral their actions maybe, you can't really seem to hate them because you sort of understand why. you sort of have this familiarity with his character that you can only grieve with him in his misery, even if he brought it upon him.

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went to downtown san francisco today. explored market street by myself for about an hour and a half. my brother left work early to meet me, he bought me a shirt and i got him some pepperoni pizza. :)

we went to my tito jun's house later on for dinner where i ate about a quarter of the strawberry pie they served. and yes, they let me take home the leftover. i practically ate half of it. haha.

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for those wondering what this blog is for, it's purpose is mainly to "document" my stay here. so most, but not all entries, are about how my day went and stuff like that. for more sensible (if you may call them that) entries, go to my tabulas page.

the god of small (minds)

pardon me arundhati roy, for i cannot find a title more apt for this post. i promise to read your book before summer ends. this post may come off a tad too self-righteous for some, so if you don't have time for rants based on reason, then stop reading.

i've been here in pinole four days. it's actually fun to have lots of people around you, but sometimes their narrowmindedness (or so i deem it) gets to me.
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while talking about the my brother's bed sheet and his suggestion to my tita to buy one for my cousin:

tita O: mabait kasi ang kuya JR mo eh no, iniisip niya kung anong magugustuhan ng kuya georex mo. ang kuya louie mo kasi nag-asawa ng maaga.

cathy: ha?

tita O: kasi ngayon ang focus na niya yung pamilya niya...

argh. nawindang ako. i had to defend my brother, tell her that that's what makes him happy, and it's just natural that he go for it. hindi naman siya nagkukulang sa mga responsibilities niya, wala naman siyang inaapakang tao.

it just pissed me off that she sort of implied that just because my eldest brother does not have as much time for them as my kuya jr, hindi na siya mabait. and that this is because he married early. so is kindness now based on what age you get married? argh.

i remember the movie mona lisa smile. the character played by julia stiles chose to get married than to pursue further studies. julia roberts thought she was selling herself short but then stiles told her that she only followed what her heart told her.

some people think that settling down at an early age is a sign of weakness. some even frown upon it, thinking that these kids (or so they want to think of them) don't really know what they're doing. i guess they base this from the fact that a lot of people in their early twenties don't know what to do in their life yet.

but what if you do know what you want? what if you're certain that this is what you want out of life? isn't knowing at an early age a good thing? i'd like to think that it is so. some people way past their 30s don't have a clue as to where they're going, and i think that is more alarming.
hay, i think i put too much thought on this simple conversation. i bet she didn't even mean it the way i took it. or maybe she did, but knowing her, i need not make a big deal out of it. we are simply coming from two very different intellectual backgrounds (yes, i'm self-righteous. throw stones at me :p).

i think that the best thing i got out of philo is to be more open-minded about things. that we see, understand, and judge things differently. that what might be gray to me can be white for some. and that i should not call my tita smallminded because it might be true that in her world, things are so defined that there is no room for gray areas. that i should just let this slide because i know that no matter how i explain about this, she wouldn't understand.

in ariel's under water world, a pipe is a snarfblat, a corkscrew is a thingamabob. a fork is used to comb the hair. you can't just tell her she's mistaken and that all of the things that she knows are incorrect because for her, a snarfblat is a snarfblat. if you ask her for a pipe, she wouldn't understand that you were asking for her snarfblat. and you can't really blame her, because this is how she grew to know and understand things.

so what's the point really? i guess i just wanted to rant. i've been heraring so many hirits that make my eyes roll, and unlike my kuyas, im very impatient with these things. i just needed to remind myself to just keep my mouth shut and my eyes straight, if only because of respect.
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just because i was half laughing and half rolling my eyes when i heard this comment my tito made while watching tomb raider:

tita T: yan pala si angelina jolie, maganda nga.

tito B: maganda nga, pero hindi siya bagay sa action.

tita T: bakit mo naman nasabi?

tito B: dapat kasi pag ganyang pelikula yung mukhang chinese ang artista.

haruu. spell s-t-e-r-e-o-t-y-p-i-c-a-l with me. buti pa sana kung tama yung stereotype na ginamit. hay. madami pa, pero i choose to just foggedabhoudit.

bored and unsleepy

i'm awake at ungodly hours and i sleep through breakfast and lunch. some days it's the opposite. if i was pacute i'd say this was jetlag but then again, this isn't too different from my sleeping habits in the philippines. i guess my bodyclock is just forever erratic.

i need to find something to do, i'm bored out of my wits. i've read every entertainment magazine and read almost half of twisted 7. sa lagay na yun, hindi pa ako masyadong interesado sa mga binabasa ko. hay. im trying to avoid eating too much, but it's real hard work cos there's just too much food here. puro sweets pa.

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went to the hilltop mall this evening. bought make up sa macy's. hahaha. fun fun. got some pants too cos i only brought two pairs and if i didn't get a new one i'd have to do the laundry every other day.

oh, i drove in the freeway for the first time today. cool. fast cars.

god, please send me something interesting. or give me a job. can't wait till wednesday, i'll be exploring downtown sanfo all by myself.

ikea easter

woke up at 12 noon today. we missed the morning mass. after eating lunch, we went to IKEA to go shopping (again).

i really like IKEA and i really like shopping. ang ayoko lang yung parehas kami ng binibili ng kasama ko, lalo pa kung ako ang nauna. except pag si bebe, lagi kaming parehas nun eh. what i don't like about shopping with my relatives is that some of them don't really know what they want to buy so they end up copying what you are going to buy. argh. funny, kanina tita fe chose a frame of a boat and of some flowers in a bag and tita olga and tito bezz/tita tess ended up buying the exact same frames. natawa na lang kami ni kuya jr.

after that we just stopped by the house to freshen up and then headed for the 530pm mass. daming pinoy.

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im not going to new york anymore. you can say im hella disappointed about it, was really looking forward to it since late las year but what can i do? hay. i really wanted to watch wicked badly. now i'll have to content myself with cirque de soleil, which hardly interests me. or maybe it's just because i wanted wicked so much and everything else just falls short no matter how great it could be.

bustos bustos

slept at 4am this morning, i watched dreamboy. had to wake up around 11 because my dad and my kapatids came over to visit. was still woozy at first, i just kind of stared in space after kissing them. haven't seen faye and francis for around a decade so i didn't really know how to talk to them. we warmed up naman after a few minutes, talked about random things, and watched wowowee together.

faye even taught me how to put on make up. cool. she's really pretty. sabi ni ate love kamukha ko daw. i think she's prettier. il post the picture when i get to upload it from kuya jr's cam.

my dad gave me $381. me butal pa. hahaha.
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we went to vacaville after lunch, shopping galore at the outlet stores. spent 90 dollars today for stuff for other people. had a great time bonding with kuya jr. i even won $35 from a bet we had. muhahaha.

i might not go to new york anymore. but were going to LA next week and Vegas too.

on the way to here

it was a long bumpy trip, i think had a hundred hump-ride tummy knots because there was so much turbulence. would have been more fun if you were there, at least i wouldn't have had to pretend i was reading and enjoyed being nervous with you.

when we fly together we should take business class because i know you have personal space issues and damn, they violate that in economy class. i kept rubbing elbows with tita olga and she kept gripping my arm whenever the plane shakes. it made me a laugh thinking how peeved you would have been had you taken that flight with me.

i fell asleep wishing you were there to hold my hand. i woke up wishing the same.

on the way here, i kept thinking about you especially when they're serving meals. chicken or fish? jope puede? they served shrimp salad, it looked yummy and i thought you would have enjoyed it. the food was surprisingly good, but eating is just not the same without you.

it's needless to say that i missed you. that i miss you. suffice to say that i ate all of my veggies, because i know you'd want me to eat them.